Old memoirs from my Angel Diary
- He is the light of the World
On yesterday, I wanted to be a big girl and write something about Michael as a special tribute to the milestone of having reached 9 months without him. But my heart was too full. Today as I reflect on yesterday and the 9 months that have passed, it seems that time is marching on. Yet each and every day, each and every minute seems an eternity knowing that no matter how long I live and breathe it will be void of Michaels living and breathing. I just cannot seem to get past that reality.
Michael Jackson lives in every breath that I take. He lives with every beat of my heart. He's just another part of me now and forever more. It brings me much sadness many times, but there are other times when though I am sad and crying, I am still able to feel some joy and calm. I know by design that this is nothing but love. At one minute I'm crying and in the next I feel his spirit move me to want to dance like Mike. I can smile through the pain because I know that's what he would want of me. It has been hard. Truth be known it will always be. But I am better than yesterday, today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.
I remember Michael Jackson in all his glory, and I remember him in all his pain. He was like a chameleon, a beautiful, exotic, ever changing picture that just got better with time. The more you studied it, the more beauty you could find in it. And with each glance, you found something even more magnificent than when last you gazed upon it. Though it seemed to have subtly changed, it never lost what initially drew you to it. Mesmerizing is the only word that aptly describes it. That was the beauty of Michael.
My Michael. Your Michael. Our Michael. The world was content to share its love of him; and each one of us felt a special closeness, a separate belonging, a oneness with him because there was enough love from that perfect little body to go around. His heart, his love was infinite. Never in my life have I ever had cause to witness any other human being who was so purely and completely impassioned to the ideology of love being the whole cure for all the suffering in the world. It was so simple and so honest that we all got it. We really got it. One premise. One 4-letter word. L.O.V.E. When we saw Michael, when we thought of Michael, we saw and thought of love. Thank you Michael Jackson for your amazing grace. Yours was anything but an ordinary life. Thank you for unselfishly sharing it with me. Thank you for sacrificing the joy in your life for the good of the world and human kind. Thank you for traveling through and making an abrupt 50 year stop in my universe. You having been there made my living in it worthwhile. I will love and revere you, always. Until you went home again, heaven was missing an angel. Thank You, God for allowing us to share him for a little while. The world is a better place for you having done so. He is our sacred treasure. Handle him with care.
Thank you Michael Jackson for being the unique, incredible, compassionate human being that you were. You gave me the courage to believe again in humanity and the insight to know that yes, there are real live angels on earth who walk amongst us and make unselfish sacrifices for us that we might see a better tomorrow. In my lifetime, that angel was you.
God has blessed you and mended your broken wings
Now you are free to fly
Away to find the glorious, wondrous things
That life let pass you by
He tired of those hateful, spiteful things
Why then would one be surprised
That He'd open his arms and he'd carry you
Away to His Paradise
It took only a second, one moment in time
You were here, you were gone, hear our cries
For when you died, the planet cried
And its tears fell from your eyes.
Michael Jackson, Forever in my heart
- He is the light of the World