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Posted: 3/3/2013 - 4 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

I have tried so hard to get over the pain and the total disbelief that Michael was taken from us so young.  It blows me away.  50 years old… and he’s gone!  Even simply typing it makes my heart flutter.  I know that if Michael had had just one opportunity to say goodbye to us, his fans, he would have done so.  But he wasn’t given that opportunity…

 
It’s the unfairness of all of this that lingers in my heart, in my soul.  Michael Jackson was one of those people who did all the things he needed to do for a long life.  He exercised, ate properly (though sparsely we’ve been told), he worked hard and used his God given gifts to do good in the world, he believed in God’s word and followed it to the letter, he prayed, he took loving care of his children… the list goes on and on.  So for him not to be here 20, 30 years from now to look back on all he’s accomplished in his sterling career and tell us as only Michael could “thank you and I love you more” that one last time as he stood at the podium where HE was being honored ceremoniously for all of it, is simply heartbreaking.  That golden moment was stolen from him.  No one deserved to have that moment more than he did and the whole world was robbed of being able to witness it.  I know that the world would have traveled far just to be there… if not inside, every inch of space surrounding that honored place would have been filled with people who just wanted to be close to where he was, to breathe the same air, walk in the footsteps, feel the love.  I have no doubt that God willing, I would not have missed it for anything in the world.  But that precious moment in time will never be.  And I cannot begin to understand, though I have long since stopped questioning why, God allowed this to happen to him.  I know that there are some things that only He knows & is not required that we understand.  But that does not ease the pain of it any less.  
 
The one thing that has come as a result of Michael’s death is as clear as daylight, the world has become more loving, more compassionate to others.  We have begin to pay attention to things and people and conditions in the world that we maybe before only glanced at and forgot.  We pay attention and we act instead of merely react and we get involved doing what ever we can to help.  Our vibrational energies are in tune more than ever before.  We are in synergy with the world. And that is the greatest gift we could ever wish to possess to make the world a better place.  And I thank Michael Jackson for giving it to us.  
 
So to the naesayers, I say even in death Michael Jackson still won.  He always did and for what he left behind, he always will.  He left us music, and magic and memories, yes.  But the most important gift he left us was the gift of understanding that we are all one in the universe.  What happens across the world affects us everywhere.  When a child cries, it takes all of our love to dry his tears.  And when Michael cries from heaven, his tears fill our eyes and his love fills the empty spaces in our hearts.  He is another part of me… and I am forever speechless… that’s how I feel. I carry the love in my heart and I will love him forever.
Posted: 2/10/2013 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 ...and I am still missing Michael as much and perhaps even more.

It's not a dream. I'm wide awake. I wish Michael could wake up too alt  We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.  It's more like virtual hell knowing that Michael Jackson is never going to be here with us anymore.

Hello world.  Wake up and witness what have we done.  Never mind me, guys.  Just having "one of those days" that makes me wanna scream...

 

Posted: 11/18/2012 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Michael Jackson was full of compassion for the world and especially children.  During the Bad era when he came to my city, he gave 100 tickets to children in hospitals to attend his concert.  This hospital was the recipient of those tickets.  

This Christmas Childrens Healthare is asking for people to send little notes of hope to these children to brighten their smiles.  It's a simpke easy gesture that I am embracing myseld and know that these children would appreciate receiving notes from people all over the worl.  It only takes a minute.  Please take that minute of your time to bring a smile to a child's eyes.

Here's the information and the form for your note.  In advance, I thank you as they surely will, for thinking of and remembering them.

 

Share with Children's

Posted: 11/17/2012 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 No matter what I do, no matter where I go, I always end up back at the same truth...nothing takes the place of Michael Jackson alt

 

www.youtube.com/watch

Posted: 9/10/2012 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

It was so very discouraging to see all the ads that were piling up on this page.  I just want to say 'THANK YOU" to who ever cleaned out the trash.  This is Michael's special place where memories will live forever.  So much work has been done on this site and so much love put into it that it was extremely difficult for me to see it being over ridden with non-Michael fluff.  Now it seems to be back to the right business and that makes me smile alt 

Michael Jackson Bad25 will be released on September 18th and I hope it goes to number one like a bullet.  That's the only advertising we need to see here right now. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Posted: 8/31/2012 - 0 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 

Today is the 25th anniversary of BAD.  25 years ago today Michael had just turned 29 and BAD dropped like the temperature on a frigid winter night in the Artic Zone.  Michael must've had the best birthday of his life.  The BAD period is my favorite.  He was so hot he was sizzling, lol.  altI will be celebrating BAD's birthday tonight by watching the Bad Tour in Japan on dvd on my home movie screen.  Re-live the experience. 

He's BAD 25 dvd/cd combo set will be arriving at my door soon.  I cannot WAIT to receive it. 

 

 

Posted: 8/29/2012 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Today Michael Jackson would have turned 54 years old, still a young man.  If he were here today, I am sure he would be celebrating all the victories he has accomplished, all the milestones he has covered in his lifetime, both personally and professionally.  He would know beyond any shadow of doubt that he was still loved worldwide and that the sacrifices he has made over his career and throughout his lifetime to bring some magic and wonderment to us had not been in vain.  Michael would surely cry because he was that kind of man who wore his heart on his sleeve and was not afraid to allow his emotions to show.  He would surely smile because he knew that to smile even when your eyes are filled with tears made life worthwile.  He would surely dance because his feet always had a mind of their own and he did not make decisions for them.  And he would surely tell us that he loved us more becaue that had always been his message to us and he proved it even up and until his last breath.  He loved us more.  alt So even though Michael is not here in the flesh celebrating, spinning, crying, singing and dancing, he is still giving us that feeling of loving us more in all that he left behind.  So on this day, Michael's day, I say Happy birthday Angel and I spend my day enjoying the fruits of his labor of love, listening to his music and experiencing all over again the magic of him.  His loss is monumental and tragic, but his heart was even bigger than his loss and it continues to be the heartbeat of the world.  

I love you Michael Jackson and I will love you forever. I'll never forget nor will I ever take for granted the magic that was you. You are my life.

Posted: 6/24/2012 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Year 3


I have made it on this planet without Michael’s physical presence for three long years. Never could’ve made it without my friends on all the forums and websites dedicated to Michael because I have very few people in my life who adore him the way that I do.  Friends without faces, only loving hearts, have sustained me.  Thank you for being here for people like me.  


As I look back over these years, I am reminded of a line from the movie Sparkle, as she asked the poignant question of Stix: “Can you imagine how it feels to not know if you can live through another second?  Well I got through the seconds, the minutes, the hours…” and now it has turned into 3 years.  If I have ever had reason to question does God ever give us more than we can bear; that question is no longer relevant. I know unequivocally, beyond a shadow of any reasonable doubt that He does not. I have lived 3 years without a man who broke all barriers in winning over more hearts than any other human being who ever lived.  My heart is in there. His death took my breath away.  I could not eat.  I could not sleep.  And I truly believed that my heart was beyond repair.  Time held no meaning because my every waking hour was spent with visions of him in high definition in the recesses and in the forefront of my tortured mind.  Whether my eyes were open or shut, he was always there.  


For me as with so many of us who never thought we’d being living in a world without the energy of Michael Jackson’s heartbeat, this journey has been long and hard and has tested my faith in the goodness of mankind. But as time passed, I have seen the power of love for human kind blossoming into something beautiful.  Michael entrusted us with a legacy of so much love that it is almost impossible for it not to have taken root and begin to grow.  He proved to me that his was not a selfish journey through this fascinating life taking only the high roads; but that his journey intentionally veered off oftentimes to the low lying valleys of the drown trodden and those not so fortunate in life.  And in so doing he gave new hope and meaning to all of God’s people.  In my eyes, he was a modern day Saint.  In my heart, he will always be. 


For this occasion I wanted to make a tribute video for Michael that was befitting him.  But in retrospect I have decided to leave you with a story of what happened to me, just this day.  To me, it was like a message from Michael telling me to let him go.  God works in mysterious ways.


On my way home today, sitting and waiting for my bus in 90+ degree temperatures, a young man probably in his early 20s who was carrying in his hand a bunch of roses, came up to me.  I don't know if it was because he sensed my sadness or if maybe he had noticed the many buttons I was wearing on my clothing depicting Michael Jackson's image.  But he made his way straight to me and gave me a rose.  He smiled and I thanked him tearfully and then he walked on away.  His eyes were so kind I felt as though he could read my toughest.

As I held this beautiful rose in my hand under the scorching sun, it began to wither.  I held it and tried to shied it from the heat that was taking away it's vibrance, but the petals just kept withering and the stem drooped.  So I closed my hand around the bud to try to keep it strong enough until I finally was able to get home and put it into water.  


When I arrived at my door and opened my hand, the rose had completely closed.  And for some reason that broke my heart.  I found a bud vase and filed it with life giving water & put the rose into it.  But it never revived.  It never came back,  And it made me reevaluate how helpless we are in the face of this thing, this tin line between life and death, to change it. 


So now, I sit here looking at this flower and I'm sobbing my heart out and feeling somehow that I failed to care enough.  In all my effort, it still withered away.  And it serves to remind me of just how fleeting life is and that sometimes, no matter what we do, it will simply slip away.  And in retrospect, I am taken back to Michael and his last rehearsal.  I see him vibrant, his petals open wide, full of life.  He's back.  He's back.  And then, just a few hours later, the headless scream that he is gone.  His petals fell away.  The brightest most beautiful rose the weld has ever known, the rose that was Michael Jackson, under the watchful eye of the entire world, closed and died.  He died. And there was nothing we could do to revive him and bring him back.  He was gone.  Much too soon.


One of my favorite movies of al times is IAm Sam.  I am inclined to think that it must've been one of michael's too.  I can almost envision him watching and cheering on and crying with the character Sam as he struggled with l.o.v.e. to not have his daughter whom he loved unconditionally and with all of his heart, from him.  So as I celebrate Michael on this 3rd anniversary, and close this chapter and make my final post on this blog, I dedicate this song  from that movie, and this short poem to him from my heart.  I will never forget you, Michael Jackson.  You will always be the catalyst behind every kind deed I do.  In my lifetime there has never been and I have never known a love like your love.  May peace be with you always.  


People come into our lives for a reason

Sometimes good and sometimes bad

They might stay for a lifetime or only a season

And when they go you reflect on what you had


In my lifetime no one did it better

never since and no one ever before

& if I never again find love in my life

I'm content knowing that you loved me more


Michael Jackson always rocking my world and leaving me forever speechless.. I sing you a lullabye

CassieForMaxwell

 

Song lyrics to Ben Folds - Golden Slumbers:


(Lennon/McCartney)


Once there was a way to get back homeward 

Once there was a way to get back home 

Sleep pretty darling do not cry 

And I will sing a lullaby 


Golden slumbers fill your eyes 

Smiles awake you when you rise 

Sleep pretty darling do not cry 

And I will sing a lullaby 


Once there was a way to get back homeward 

Once there was a way to get back home 

Sleep pretty darling do not cry 


And in the end the love you take

is equal to the love you make

 

 

Golden slumbers fill your eyes 

Smiles awake you when you rise 

Sleep pretty darling do not cry 

And I will sing a lullaby

 

vocals by K D Lang

www.youtube.com/watch

 

alt

Posted: 4/24/2012 - 0 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Michael...You will aways be perfect to me.

 

In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tribulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart.

 

www.youtube.com/watch 

Posted: 4/19/2012 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

With the passing of the wonderful dick Clark, it occurs to me that this is truly the end of an era of entertainment the likes of which no one has ever witnessed.  It's over. alt  Think of all the iconic figures we have lost in the last decade not to mention the last 20 or so years.  It's over whelming!  Now with the loss of Dick Clark, it culminates and the chapter closes.  Dick Clark was the King of Entertainment.  He was an icon who contributed so much to rock, pop and soul music,  The things he started still stand strong today and many are reaping benefits from his toil who never even knew who he was.  I don't know what to say except  that ALL of the kings are gone, and many of the queens. It's heartbreaking and it is sad.  Music will never be the same.  We were generation X and now that has come to an end.  The losses are staggering.  I feel like the door is now almost completely closed on true entertainment.  There are only a few legends left, and the ones that are gone were the creme of the crop:  Michael Jackson, Tina Marie, Whitney Houston, James Brown, Don Cornelius, Teddy Pendergrass, Marvin Gaye, Janis Joplin, John Lennon, Tupac, Biggie Smalls, Etta James. . .God the list goes on and on.  Take a look for yourselves abclocal.go.com/wpvi/gallery . 

For me, the music of my life, the music I grew up with, loved to, danced to, picked me up, most of those creative souls is gone and I feel so sad and down today.  Heaven is calling all angels and they are heeding these calls one by one.  It simply breaks my heart.

Posted: 4/7/2012 - 0 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 

 The Bad Concerts - 2 of them in a row. April 13 and 14 1988.  I was so happy that Michael and Pepsi got to perform here because Coca Cola is the drink of the South and especialy in my city.  Rivalry at its best!  If I'm not mistaken he was scheduled to do 3 shows.  But I know that he did 2 because i was there.  BLOWN AWAY is the only way i can describe it.  It was during this concert tour that I earned of the open heart that Michael possessed because he publicly donated tickets to the Children's Wish foundation so they could attend.  It was later revealed that he gave away much of the proceeds from that tour to many children's hospitals along the tour route in silence.  What an angel alt

 I had not been to a Michael Jackson concert since the Destiny Tour in 1979.  I had a ticket for the Triumph tour in 1981, but gave it to my best friend because I was ill.  Dag-nabbit.  All I know is that Michael Jackson as a solo artist was by far the best enetertainment experience I have ever had.  I was mesmerized at the total giving of himself to his fans as he performed.  I love all of Michael's performances, but Shake Your Body Down, stuck with me from that day forth.  He was so damn sexy and GOD was he on point, sheer perfection throughout the whole show.  Shake your booty - your lovely booty.  NEVER FORGET IT.  The pain I feel knowing that he is not here today to be recognized for those amazing performances he gave to the world over the vast span of his exceptional career, simply deflates me.  He deserves to receive ALL the accolades in person; but as fate has it, he now accepts them posthumously.  Seems unfair  on so many levels alt  

But anyway, this month I celebrate the 25th anniversary of the Bad Tour with pride and great anticipation.  I hope the Estate will release some professionally digitalized concert footage from the other leg of the tour.  The performance songs varied a bit.  Live in Tokyo Japan rocks hard,  but there were other shows that also deserve to be preserved and marketed for Michael's fans to behold.  Please give us more!  It's NEVER TOO MUCH.  Michael was B>A>D> and he still IS!

Posted: 4/6/2012 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Everyone who loves Michael is a friend of mine whether spoken or implied, so this message is for all of you,.  Even if you don't celebrate the holidays have a beautiful Easter weekend.    Life is a gift.  Share some love with someone, somewhere.  It won't cost a thing. 

Posted: 4/3/2012 - 0 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 It seems just yesterday we watched a little girl as she made the most profound statement ever made at the memorial for her father.  Today, she is a beautful, mature young lady who has come into her own.  You are still the world's baby girl, Paris.  Don't ever forget that.  And we wish you love, and joy, and the best that life has to offer as you celebrate each milestone.  We are cheering for you and praying for you as any mother would do for her children.  

 

Happy birthday Paris Jackson.  God Bless you.  There are always angels on your shoulder and you will never, ever be alone.  

 

alt

Posted: 12/28/2011 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 My mother left this earth on this day 34 years ago.  It rocked me to the core.  She was my mentor and my best friend.  I have never stopped missing her and I will never ever stop loving her for allowing me to be me.  My mother had the voice of an angel and was always singing around the house.  I remember the last song that would rang through the house preceeding the day that she passed away.  When I close my eyes, I can see her clearly still standing there, cooking breakfast and singing her heart out.  So one more time, this song is for you mother. I now that on this day you are singing it in perfect harmony in heaven.  For some reason, I know that Raphael and your idol, Jackie Wilson is singing right along with you.  I miss you more. 

 

www.dailymotion.com/video/x7nh8t_dorthy-moore-misty-blue_music

 

 

Posted: 12/25/2011 - 3 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

  Today is Christmas, 2011.  It is exactly two years and six months that Michael died for the sin of showing too much love to a world where love and being loved too much is the ultimate sin punishable by the ultimate sacrifice.  As I sit in wonder on this day, the birth of our saviour, Jesus Christ, I am also in awe at the fulfillment of his promises to us.  God came to us for only a little while in the body of Christ.  He was born of a woman, and lived amongst us in the flesh so that we might see the living God through our own eyes, suffering alongside us while working miracles, and emparting unconditional selfless love unto us.  He came to us as a child who grew into a man who walked with us, so that he could show us how much he understood us and that he loved us enough to suffer the same perils did we.  Have you ever just sat and though how totally unselfih that was.  To be loved so much that he would come with one purpose, to die for us on a cross that we be free of all our sins!  I cannot describe what that does to my heart and my soul.  He is the way and the truth and I shall love him always.

I have oftentimes quoted the promise that God made to us that a child shall lead them.  He promised that he would come and I have always believed that that promise was fulfilled in the body of Michael Jackson.  It feels he too had an ultimate purpose on this earth and that his death was the sacrifice that was its fulfillment. Sometimes God uses bad people to do good things.  The death of Michael was by a bad person.  But the change in the hearts of millions and millions of people only came about after the fulfillent had been done.  Michael's death, just like Jesus', turned humanity around.  All around me everywhere is the embodiment of what Michael Jackson's life was about.  The world has changed for the good of all of us.  Deeds of kindness have permiated this planet and in all of it , in every kin deed, we see visbly the workings and teachings of our angel, Michael Jackson.   He too is the truth and I shall love him always.

In Ezekiel 34:25 this profound message stopped me in my tracks: "I wll make a covenant of peace with them and rid the land of wild beasts so that they may live in the desert and sleep in the forests."  

At first read I thought of Michael's Neverland where animals of all types lived peacefully amongst the many people who visited and lived there.  But then upon further pondering the premise became deeper.  Michael Jackson not only brought about a peace with the animals and understood them, but he more profoundly was doing all in his power to increase humility and compassion and love in the world; especially for the children.  He was in fact making a covenant for them to ensure that they might be safe in a world where children are abused and murdered and denied the right to a peaceful co-existence.  The wild beast being the perpetrators of the world who abuse and neglect children and deny them the right to be free to roam.   Michael was working to tame the beast by teaching them the values and importance of the lambs in the world, the children. How profound!

It is lessons like these that keep me constantly faithful to my belief that though Jesus is omnipotent and no one can ever match or even compare to all that he is, I believe that he having lived once upon a time amongst us knows that sometimes as human nature dictates, people need to see the work manifest  by one who has lived and grew up and suffered, yet excelled to become the phoenix, the light amongst us, in order that we can relate to and respond at the level of the heart. This being the same reason that Jesus came in the flesh to abide with and dwell amongst us so many years ago.

He sends us angels because he understands our psyche and wants for us the very best.  In my lifetime, with every beat of my heart, I believe that Michael Jackson was one of them.  

I am not trying to force my beliefs on you, just speaking from my heart.  Michael will always be an angel to me.  God Bless the Lambs of God.

Have a merry Christmas my friends.  Love conquers all.  

This is my Christmas Prayer youtube video.  Perfectly beautiful.  Michael Jackson ♥♫ A Christmas Prayer ♫♥ - YouTube

Cassie

Posted: 12/5/2011 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Old memoirs from my Angel Diary

- He is the light of the World
 
On yesterday, I wanted to be a big girl and write something about Michael as a special tribute to the milestone of having reached 9 months without him. But my heart was too full. Today as I reflect on yesterday and the 9 months that have passed, it seems that time is marching on. Yet each and every day, each and every minute seems an eternity knowing that no matter how long I live and breathe it will be void of Michaels living and breathing. I just cannot seem to get past that reality.
 
Michael Jackson lives in every breath that I take. He lives with every beat of my heart. He's just another part of me now and forever more. It brings me much sadness many times, but there are other times when though I am sad and crying, I am still able to feel some joy and calm. I know by design that this is nothing but love. At one minute I'm crying and in the next I feel his spirit move me to want to dance like Mike. I can smile through the pain because I know that's what he would want of me. It has been hard. Truth be known it will always be. But I am better than yesterday, today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.
 
I remember Michael Jackson in all his glory, and I remember him in all his pain. He was like a chameleon, a beautiful, exotic, ever changing picture that just got better with time. The more you studied it, the more beauty you could find in it. And with each glance, you found something even more magnificent than when last you gazed upon it. Though it seemed to have subtly changed, it never lost what initially drew you to it. Mesmerizing is the only word that aptly describes it.  That was the beauty of Michael.
 
My Michael. Your Michael. Our Michael. The world was content to share its love of him; and each one of us felt a special closeness, a separate belonging, a oneness with him because there was enough love from that perfect little body to go around. His heart, his love was infinite. Never in my life have I ever had cause to witness any other human being who was so purely and completely impassioned to the ideology of love being the whole cure for all the suffering in the world. It was so simple and so honest that we all got it. We really got it. One premise. One 4-letter word. L.O.V.E. When we saw Michael, when we thought of Michael, we saw and thought of love. Thank you Michael Jackson for your amazing grace. Yours was anything but an ordinary life. Thank you for unselfishly sharing it with me. Thank you for sacrificing the joy in your life for the good of the world and human kind. Thank you for traveling through and making an abrupt 50 year stop in my universe. You having been there made my living in it worthwhile. I will love and revere you, always. Until you went home again, heaven was missing an angel. Thank You, God for allowing us to share him for a little while. The world is a better place for you having done so. He is our sacred treasure. Handle him with care.
 
Thank you Michael Jackson for being the unique, incredible, compassionate human being that you were. You gave me the courage to believe again in humanity and the insight to know that yes, there are real live angels on earth who walk amongst us and make unselfish sacrifices for us that we might see a better tomorrow. In my lifetime, that angel was you.
 
Angel...
God has blessed you and mended your broken wings
Now you are free to fly
Away to find the glorious, wondrous things
That life let pass you by
He tired of those hateful, spiteful things
Why then would one be surprised
That He'd open his arms and he'd carry you
Away to His Paradise
 
It took only a second, one moment in time
You were here, you were gone, hear our cries
For when you died, the planet cried
And its tears fell from your eyes.
 
Michael Jackson, Forever in my heart
CassieForMaxwell
3/26/2010
- He is the light of the World
 
Posted: 12/5/2011 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

The case against Conrad Murray in the unexpected death of Michael Jackson, the greatest humanitarian to have ever lived in my opinion, is done.  We have a person in custody for the death of him.  He has been tried and found guilty of  a lesser crime than appears to have taken place and is now serving the first of 4 years of his imposed sentence.  He will likely spend much less than the 28 months the world has suffered since Michael's death, paying for his crime.  So what now?  is this the real "This Is It"?  Am I now suppose to completely close that chapter and finish the book and place it on my shelf to gather dust?  I cannot.  Why? Because I am certain that there I much more the needs to be dealt with.  That book should stay open until all the fine print has been revealed.

I will never rest. I cannot ignore things that have troubled me since June 25th that have not been addressed.  I know that many people are of the belief that Conrad Murray held the needle in his hand that killed Michael.  Perhaps.  But I have always been one to go beyond the obvious, and in this case which changed the structure of my DNA, I have to take it where my heart tells me to.  No one else need follow me.  I am good going it alone.

I believe that Murray's hand was forced or at the least, guided, and AEG continues to be a thorn in my side.  After acquiring a full, un-redacted copy of that contract, my suspicions have haunted me.  After hearing how those affiliates had come to feel obliged to man-handle and tongue lash Michael into helpless submission, they have haunted me more.  After learning that Michael's family and many of his personnel choices were all but shut out and away from Michael, his growing concern for his safery, his health concerns, and then this unfathomable neglect at the hands of his doctor, the haunt has turned into something more.  Will we ever have the full story?  Will the truth be buried forever with Michael?  Did money and power and a total lack of respect for a man who had made for the industry more than any other artist in history in turn ruthlessly set out to dismantle all that he had required because they felt prvileged to do so simply because of some signed papers?  Did they turn a blind eye to Michael's serious ills in an effort to show him who held the upper hand because of some signed pieces of paper?  Does it matter that tese signatures were all on a seperate page, detached from the body of the contract and faxed over as "official"?  What manner of people would be so shrewd and heartless?  I still want to know and I will continue to search my mind and my heart for the clues until somehow I get my answers.  Something went very wrong in California, and Conrad Murray knows what it was.  I swear if I had enough money, I would sign it all over to Conrad in exchange for the truth which he hasn't uttered since day one.  He knows what went down in that house, and I believe with all the breath in my body that he has information that could turn this whole thing around and bring down some powerful people.  I would even go so far as to state my life on AEG being behind Michael's demise and eventual death with Conrad being used as the scapegoat for the exact same reasons that we have seen during and after the sentencing.  He has no violent criminal record and is upstanding in his community.  He will serve minimal time behind bars.  And he will more than likely be taken care of for the rest of his life should this little trade off work.  It did.  Now I play wait and see. Time will tell.  Murray shows little to no concern because he knows once this little facade is finished, his worries are over.  Someone is footing his bill!  We're not stupid.

I could be very wrong in my fears, and I know many will argue the point; however I have always been one to follow my own heart and it keeps leading me to the same place.  There is so much wrong with the picture that has been painted and thrust out to us to accept as the total truth. So much left out that is needed in order for the picture to make sense.  I pray that it will all come to light during my lifetime because until it does, I am a captive to it.  If I never utter another word about it, it will always be on my heart. 

It never should have come to this.

Michael Jackson, God Bless you.  God bless you. God bless you.

Posted: 12/1/2011 - 3 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

That's as true a statement as I've ever made because after seeing on the web that Conrad Murray is being an idiot again in stating that he is glad he did the documentary that pissed off the judge and that he is not phased by the 4 year sentence I am fumingalt 

when I first learned that Katherine Jackson had agreed to the request by the prosecution or grandy jury or whom ever makes those decisions to charge Murray with involuntary manslaughter rather than murder I tried with all in me to dissuade that. However, Mrs. Jackson had been brainwashed to believe that it would be easier for a jury to find Conrad guilty of manslaughter than murder for all the WRONG REASONS.  Now she is dissatisfied with the outcome.  I often said that if Michael was my child, I would rather go for what I knew should be the charge rarher than accept a lower charge with the firm belief that once all the facts were revealed any sane jury would see the truth.  If not, then at least I would be able to live with myself having given it all I had.  But go for it because murder is exactly what it was.  There was the risk of him being sentenced on a lower charge if that was what the judge saw fit, but from what Judge Pastor said on 11/29, I doubt it.  I do believe that had they gone for murder, Murray would be sitting in jail serving much more time and not being as pompus as he is now.  Truth is, he got away with MURDER.

When I get home this evening, I am going to respond to those articles as pompously as he has demonstrated he can write them.  I cannot do it now, but when I get on my own computer, I've got some choice words for Mr. Murray.  I am seething with anger.  I really am.

Posted: 11/29/2011 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 As I sit in my home this evening after another trying day, listening to Michael Jackson's music, I lay back and close my eyes and immediately his image appears.  His face is as clear as day. His eyes are kind and he is smiling.  It seems that every time I close my eyes, his face is the first thing that comes to me.  And in this instance I know that Michael will never be lost to me for as long as I live.  

I was very happy for Michael's family that Judge Pastor was able to see through the forest of lies perpetrated by Conrad Murray over those 6 weeks of trial, and that he didn't mince his words when reprimanding him.  He was 100% right.  And he gave Murray the most he could for the charges presented.  I do believe that had Murray been charged with a greater crime, the outcome would have been the same.  But we take what we can get and 4 years was for these charges, the best.  Thank you Judge Pastor.  You did us proud.

I have always said that once the trial was over, so would be my days on the computer forums where I have virtually lived since June 25, 2009.  It has taken its toll and so I must do what is best for me.  Nothing and no one could have held me captive the way this has.  It changed my life.  And for it, I know I have become a better person.  But now it is time for me to move on.

As I close this chapter in my life I just want to say that Michael Jackson will always be with me.  He will always be the catalyst that moves me to change things that I know need changing in my life and around me. He is, as his song implies, another part of me.  And so is every wonderful human being I have come to know over these years.  We are all a piece of the pattern in this quilt of what we call life and will always be.

I have made many friends and acquaintances whose faces I'll never get to see.  Though I have lost many loved ones, I have gained so much compassion for people at a spiritual level which has helped me to understand on a much smaller scale how Michael must have felt  when he tried to impart to the world that he loved us more.  It is possible to love humanity just because we are all intricately spiritually interwoven on this planet.  Even when we do not recognize the faces, we feel the love.  We meet and love as one.  That's what Michael wanted for us and now it makes perfect sense.  Love is universal and it's only face is the heart.

I hope as we go out into the world after this day that we will venture with a stronger, greater purpose, and that the vision is clear.  Michael died for that and he shall not have died in vain.  When duty calls we all must answer and remember Michael's legacy, to make this a better world for you and for me.

Dear Michael Jackson, thank you for the sacrifices.  Thank you for the tools with which to start. Thank you for the vision on which to embark.  And thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for always, always, always making me believe it when ever you said I love you more.  God Bless and keep your dream alive.  Keep dancing Michael.  Keep smiling.  And I promise to keep believing that I too can dance the dream.

To Paris, Prince, and Blanket.  Your father is a hero, a legend, an angel, and he is always with you. Touch your hearts and feel his beating there.

To Katherine and Joseph - God Bless you and thank you for sharing your gift with the world. May you always know that you were loved.

To Jackie, Jermaine, Tito, Randy, LaToya, Janet, Marlon, Rebbie - You are thy brother's keeper. Cherish the memories & be the keepers of the dream.

To Omar Bhatti - You had the best of him.  Share your gifts and cherish the love that only you knew. You wear it wll.

Michael Joe Jackson is love, love lives forever.  The last tear I will ever shed will be for the loss of his genuine loving presence on this earth. God has him now. And he is not alone.   May he forever rest in peace. Sleep Angel.  It's finally over and you are free to fly at last.

When I look to the heavens your face I'll see

gently smiling down at me

And when at last I take my rest

I'll know I'll be going to join the best

Save a place for me, Michael; right between you and my beloved Raphael.  There's no other place I'd rather be.  So angels, save a place for me.

Good nite.

Cassaundra Mathis

Atlanta, Georgia

 

 

 

Posted: 11/25/2011 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

On this 25th day of November, the lines of this song keeps coming to mind.  It is 29 months since Michael left us and on the 29th day we will learn at last the fate of the man indicted for taking him.  

 

I was reborn when I was broken

I wouldn't believe... I wouldn't believe

Been through a storm no use in hoping

that you would come rescue me

somehow your love set me free, and now...

I can let my life pass me by

Or I can get down and try

To work it all out this lifetime

I can let my life pass me by

or I can get down and try

to work it all out this lifetime.

Lifetime

                    Maxwell

 

Remembering Michael Jackson with love as my time draws nearer  to closing this chapter but never the book.  Lifetime, what does it mean and what secrets does it hold?  Not until death is that question ever answered, and even still it remains a mystery to us.  Those who remain are left to figure it out and tell the story.

 

 

 

 

Posted: 11/18/2011 - 3 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

will you be there?

The words that haunt me everday.

Now that the trial is over and there is no more speculation, no more waiting, no more wondering, no more anger, no more of anything, now what?  Michael is gone.  and all that is left is a void that is so huge, a hole that is so deep and so black, and an emptiness that is so total that all other feelings dull in comparison to it.  Michael is gone.  Where he was is now in a state of almost total silence. He is gone and it seems that a whole book in history is finished, like a door that was once always wide open, started slowly closing on June 25,. 2009,  so slow that unless you had walked away for a month or two and then returned to it, you would not have noticed.  But now, when I look at that door that stood agape over 2 years ago, there is only a slight crack left.  Just enough to barely see inside.  And what I see is nothing.  My worse fear has been realized.  Michael is disappearing.  He is being erased.  And it breaks my heart.

I hope someday soon that the Estate will reralize the importance, the absolute necessity in preserving some deserving place for Michael to be remembered for all the magic and all the glory; where his essence will shine and everything about him, captured and displayed for the world to see and touch.   There must be a place for us to go, it's imperative.  It does not seem "humane"  to have not a special somewhere designated for his fans to come together and remember and honor him, a place where we can gather together and hold onto that which remains.   How can the most beloved and most magnanimous entertainer of all time, who loved his fans more than life itself, not have a place of tribute to him in his country?  It doesnt make sense. 

Please bring forth a place for people like me to go to when we miss Michael and want to be near to and touch something that was the essence and beauty of him.  The world feels so different now since everything, the trial, the verdict is in and over.  It feels like everything has stopped.  There is silence which he never was.  He was energy and beating heart and love.  It feels like the world has started to close the book and see Michael Jackson as just another era whose time has come and gone.  I cannot put him away into a back corner or my mind.    I will not let go of his hand.  He is more than that.  There is a poem that says "do not  stand at my grave and weep, because I am not there."  That's how I feel about Michael.  I don't want to begin and end my journey to finding all tha represents him at Forest Lawn.  Because to me he is in the wind and the moon and the rain, and the air; in the stars, in fact to me he is everywhere.  Give us  place dedicated to all that is was and will forever be Michael Jackson.  No one deserves it more. No one. 

Michael, I will always love you more.  Always in my heart!alt  Never forgotten.

Cassaundra

Posted: 11/3/2011 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 of the final hours of wait and wait.  But I will be here waiting and praying for the final verdict in this life and death saga of the people's angel, Michael Jackson.  I do not know what the final verdict will be, but not for the prosecution not having given it their all.  

Dear David Walgren, I gained the greatest respect and love and admiration for you watching as you stood firm against a defense who tried willfully to paint Michael as any and everything other than the victim.  You gave back the dignity to Michael's name that so many years of unrelenting tabloid abuse had all but taken away, and that makes my heart sing your praises.  No one could have done a grander job of honoring his life and demanding repreive for his untimely, unnecessry death than you did.  I stood up and shouted God is good as yours , the final words of truth, rang through that courtroom, demanding justice and outlining the reality of what took place on the morning of June 25, 2009 behind the guilded gates at 100 N Carolwood Drive at the hands and under the care of Conrad Murray.  If the jury does not see fit to find Conrad guity, then they will have to live with that and justice in America is only a pipe dream.  

I just want to say "thank you" for the honorable work done by the prosecution team with you at its helm, throughout every single day of this trial.  It brought me to tears to see the dedicated determination and will to do the right thing by and for Michael Jackson, his children, his family, his fans.  God Bless you.

Your name will be forever placed in my heart right next to Tom Messereau.  You two are Michael's angels.  If ever there is occsion for my support for anything that you are apart, please, count me in.  Thank you Tom, thank you David, for being honest, upstanding men.  And thank you for caring enough to do your very best.  You are heroes.

 

Posted: 11/3/2011 - 2 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

http://www.tmz.com/2011/11/03/conrad-murray-manslaughter-trial-defense-rests-closing-arguments-beach-santa-monica/

 

Michael is laying cold in a crypt killed by his careless antics and he is out strolling on the beach with his baby mama and their child.  God Bless the child.  He is innocent.  But wow, wouldn't Michael have loved to have the opportunity to walk on the beach or anywhere else with his THREE children!  This burns me up and the hate I feel seethuing though my body when I see these kinds of pictures will probably be the ticket that gets me an inviation for an eternity in hell.

And now I hear he's a prospect for making millions off of books and interviews.  Forgive me for saying this, but I hope he realizes that he is a dead man walking.  Somebody won't be as level headed as we are in loathing him but not carrying out what's truly in our hearts.

God please be with us in these trying days and hours ahead.  I know I need all the strength and prayers I can muster because this is tearing me up inside, out.

Posted: 11/2/2011 - 0 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

He says it all. Nothing left to add except, I miss and love you morealt

 

 

Michael Jackson’s Universal Bill of Rights – March 6, 2001
 
1.                 The right to be loved without having to earn it.
 
2.                 The right to be protected without having to deserve it.
 
3.                 The right to feel valuable, even if you came into the world with nothing.
 
4.                 The Right to be listened to without having to be interesting.
 
5.                 The right to be read a bedtime story, without having to compete with the evening news.
 
6.                 The right to an education without having to dodge bullets at school.
 
7.                   The right to be thought of as adorable, even if you have a face that only a mother could love.
 
The foundation of all human knowledge, the beginning of human consciousness, must be that each and every one of us is an object of love.
 
Before you known if you have red hair or brown; before you know if you are black or white; before you know of what religion you are a part, you have to know that you are loved.
 
 
In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope
In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort.
In a world filled with despair, we must still learn to dream
And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.
 
 
 
“If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with”
 
                          Michael Joe Jackson
Posted: 10/31/2011 - 4 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 ...but the more  see of this charade they are callng a trial, the more enraged and discouraged I become.  At church yesterday, I asked my pastor to help me with this.  I also asked him if my heart was not ready would I be going against what is right if I simply could not forgive him.  He asked me why wouldn't I be ready to forgive, and I went into detail.  I told him that first and foremost I do not feel that Conrad Murray has any remorse for having killed Michael. I do not believe he felt any compassion for Michael and that the only reason he was willing to use the dangerous plan of care that he did was because he had none and was only interested in the notoriety of being with someone of Michael's stature and the money.  Guys, I had spoken before with my pastor about this case and he had advised  me that I must forgive. I have tried but I am having a very hard time with it.  At present I honestly cannot.  

Upon expressing these feelings it became apparent that he was of the assumption that Murray was Michael's long standing doctor because he said the following of which I was quick to correct.  He said that doctors are human beings and therefore not perfect and expected to make mistakes.  He continued saying that doctors are bound by their oaths yet sometimes during their course of care wrong decisions are made.   He added that I should not base my hatred on what happened at the end, though it took Michael away from us; but that I should remember that he chose him for some reason and that over the years he had built a trust in his care.   That is when I stopped him and made some corrections.  Firt, I explained that Murray had only been hired to be Michael's doctor at the rate of $150,000 per month a mere six weeks before Michael's death, and that is even suspect.  Secondly I espoke to him about the way Murray had gone against his oath knowing the dangers posed and tried to hide the evidence once things went south.  Thirdly, I explained to him that Murray lied to the detectives to make himself look good in the eyes of the general public and that backfired when the death by natural causes changed to a possible murder investigation. If you could have seen the look on his face, though he still tried to convince me to be forgiving.  He is now quite interested in the case  and said that he would have to be more cognizant of what is happening before making any judgement.  But that he is asking questions lets me know that he was not fully aware of the circumstances of Murray becoming Michael's  doctor only recently.  He told me that though he was not following the case he had always admired Michael for his God given talents and his humility and compassion.  When our conversation ended, I knew that he was enlightened and even a bit surprised and would be paying a bit more attention.  Actions or rather reactions many times speak louder than words.  He did say that he understood upon hearing what I spoken to him how it would be very hard to forgive but that in time, I still should try to.

Long story short, in time I pray that I will but not now.  If I keep trying to convince myself that I have, then I wll be living a lie.

The testimony today has derailed me.  It is obviously a sham.  It appers once again, Michael's character is being asassinated because of money.  Dr. White didn't even do the resarch nor did he compile the data used to chart the graphs he displayed and could not even explain how the conclusions were derived.  Why?  Because he didn't compile it.  He even mentoned he needed the money.  I was floored.  I was furious that the defense is paying someone to come in with second hand information and ony be able to make asumptions about how it was gathered and/or why and their testimony is allowed to stand.  This propofol expert as he deems himself sat in court last week and gave himself pats on the back and accepted the accolades admonished on him for all the good and proper research he had done to come to his conclusions.  If I tell it like it is, I believe he paid someone to do that report and doesn't have a clue.  His testimony should be thrown out and stricken from the record.  It seems even in death, the powers that be are still willing and still trying to gain access to higher acclaim through kicking dirt in Michal Jackson's face and stabbing him through his heart.  People are will to do anything, go to any lengths for their own selfish whims, for notoriety and fame or just their minute of glory.  Not this time and not on our watch!  

Just had to share that because my heart continues to tell me that Conrad Murray never really cared anything for Michael or his children. In fact he was so careless and egregious in his care because Michael and his family meant nothing to him.  If he had he would have taken more care to do right by and for him for them.  He's an evil, cold man and should be punished ON EARTH as he will also be in heaven.

 

 

 

Posted: 10/26/2011 - 4 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 

 
On this October 25, 2011 that honors the 28th month of Michal Jackson’s passing it is a fitting day for those people positioned to give damaging testimony against Michael Jackson to be thrown that proverbial monkey wrench into the proceedings.

So far, this day, not one of the witnesses have done anything to shed any negativity on Michael Jackson.  Why?  Because there is none to be shed.  They can probe and prod, push and pull but until someone says that YES, Conrad Murray made ALL the right choices in the care of his patient, then there is nothing to defend.

So on this day as we lovingly gather together to continue the monthly worldwide MajorLovePrayer for Michael Jackson our vision is clear.  It is being proven right before our eyes that God is handling things.  He is, was and always will be in charge.  Man’s court in comparison is an abomination. What the lawyers and judges miss, God sees.  What fables and lies they think, God already knows.  And this too shall pass. 

We are not praying in vain.  There is no such condition.  God hears our prayers and our cries and He comforts our hearts, even in the most trying of times. 

so as I go on watching this trial of the People versus Conrad Murray in the city of Los Angeles knowing that it is an imperfect assembly, I fear not.  If Conrad Murray is found not guilty in the Los Angeles Justice System, it will not dissuade me.  It has been proven over time that man’s court is one filled with the antics of truth or dare, of who say and hearsay.  God’s court however is and has always been only true court of right and wrong, good versus evil.  It is only when He levels the final gavel, that justice is done. Though we might not be witness to it, so it is written, and so I believe His will will be done.  His is the final word .  And for me, that is enough.

Let not your hearts be troubled. God is still in charge.  And Michael is surely sitting as he stood in life, right by his side.  His love is magical.
 
 
Posted: 10/24/2011 - 6 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Dear Conrad Murray,

 

First and above anything else, I am a Michael Jackson supporter and I love him from the deepest recesses of my heart.  His death felt so personal that it almost felt as it was the death of me.  My breath stopped, my heart raced and my equilibrium became totally compromised upon hearing the news that Michael Jackson was gone.  Not Michael.  Dear God please, not Michael.   I loved Michael Jackson as if he was my own flesh and blood, and the thought of any truth being that he was gone immobilized me.  Please God, not Michael Jackson.

 

Over the last two plus years, I have been so angry with you, Dr. Murray, for having been so carless to allow Michael to slip through your fingers.  How could you take this man from our world?  He had too much living and loving still to do.  He had children and family and people like me whose souls and hearts are connected to him for a lifetime.  He had children across the planet sill in need of his compassion, his refuge, his strength. He had a world ever still requiring his patient, guiding hand to heal.  I convinced myself that it had to be a rumor or a nightmare.  It was too emotionally debilitating to be a dream.  But it was neither.  It was true. As dreadful and impossible as still feels to me, Michael is gone and we are left with the pain and the scars of losing him.  

 

My emotions have gone from manic to depressive many times over at the thought of it.  His death at the hands of the one charged to give him the best of care ignited a putrid fury in me that grew and grew and grew until only a few days ago I felt it was going to overtake my senses and render me forever in a state of bitterness and hate.  And then I had this dream. As I always say of Michael Jackson, blessed be the peacemakers.

 

I was in a field of beautiful yellow flowers. The air was filled with the smell of honeysuckle.  I was alone with the universe it felt, and the universe it seemed was welcoming me.  The sky was clear and blue, and the singing of birds and the whispering wind were the only sounds around and about me.  It was total peacefulness, so peaceful that I was lulled into a deep, deep sleep taking me to a dream within a dream.

 

In this dream I was walking side by side, hand in hand with Michael quietly leading me.  He had an unspoken destination for me and without hesitation or question, as if a child, I followed. It seemed we were floating or walking on air, not quite above the ground by not quite with our feet touching its surface.  I felt protected and I had no fear.  It seemed I had an appointment with fate, as if my life depended on it.  When Michael appeared, it was destiny.  It seemed I was waiting for him.  Only he knew my heart and only he could heal it.  As I was forever stuck at June 25, 2009, only Michael’s unspoken truth would ever be able to move me beyond it.

 

He led me to stand at a window, and through that window I saw him, Conrad Murray.  You, Dr. Murray, were sitting beside the bed where Michael lay motionless, and you were praying.  I could feel my anger and rage mounting at the very sight of you there.  You were there praying silently, but I could hear into your heart. Tears spilled and rolled down your face. How dare you, I thought.  And as I started to speak scornfully, Michael touched his finger to his own heart, then to mine and almost immediately my anger began to quiet.   Michael did not utter a word to me.  I said nothing.  But I knew by instinct, understood why I was there. I cannot remember the entire prayer, except that it felt real.  It felt sincere.  The one portion of that prayer that stuck with me when I woke up was these words, so plain and so clear: “I have by my own failures taken from this world a kind, trusting and decent man; a father of children, a son, a brother, an angel.  He trusted the likes of me with his life and I failed him.  I am sorry, Lord.  Please forgive me.” 

 

I listened as you asked God not to take Michael.  I listened as you asked God to please turn this around and bring him back.  I listened and watched as you fell to your knees grief stricken and I saw Michael’s face, as he lay there.  It was beautiful.  It was peaceful and it seemed to illuminate light.  I now knew why I was here as I turned now to this man standing beside me.  His eyes were full of understanding and compassion.  Not a trace of anger did I see.  He did not make a sound, not a single word did he utter.  There was no need.  I understood.   Michael let go of my hand, clasped them in front of him and bowed his head.  As he did, that same light I had seen in the room, through the window was all around him and I felt humbled by his presence.  A great warmness, a grace, came over me that was comforting.  I could feel the weight, the heaviness of my burdens being lifted away, removed from me and I could feel and audibly hear his heartbeat which seemed to be in synchronicity with my own.  I felt all of this love transferring from his heart to mine.  When he looked up again, his eyes were filled with tears, but they were not sad tears.  His face was so beholding that I felt almost hypnotized, overpowered by the magnitude of his love.  He stood there warmly holding my hand.  The tear filled eyes that stared back at me seemed to speak only 2 words “forgive him”. 

 

I remember closing my eyes and crying so hard that my body was trembling.  When I opened them again, Michael was gone, I was back in the field of flowers, and my hate was no more. 

 

I know it was only a dream, or was it?  But it changed my heart.  Though I will always be hurt and forever longing for and missing the beauty that was and is Michael Jackson,  I know that I cannot continue to harbor the hate towards Conrad Murray or anyone else and live in the way God and Michael would want me to.  I cannot move forward to do the things necessary to change the world, until I stop looking backwards and harboring hate for those things I cannot change.

 

I heard your prayers, Conrad Murray.  Thank Michael Jackson for that.  I only pray that God will come into your heart, or perhaps Michael will come to YOU in a dream and show you the right way; allowing you to do that which is right and just by him.

 

God is my refuge and my strength.  Through Him (and sometimes with a little guidance of our angels) all things are possible. 

 

Michael, I will always, always, ALWAYS love you more.

 

Posted: 10/16/2011 - 3 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 If you ever happen by my page, I don't want to pass up the opportunity to say to you, thank you Tom Messereau for being the voice of reason and the soft shoulder for Michael Jackson to lean on during a time in his life when it seemed there was no one.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I have oftentimes been discouraged when hearing people proclaim that Michael fell out of love with Neverland and that he left her after the trials, defeated.  Defeated in that the Santa Monica Police had ravaged and tainted Neverland to the point where Michael no longer DESIRED to be there anymore.   I never believed that because I know what Neverland meant to him.  Neverland was his childhod lost, found, and brought to life again.  Neverland was his refuge from the realities of the cruel world out side of her gates.  Neverland was his paradise full of wonderment and a santuary for the emotionally scarred, physically wounded, and terminally ill children the world over, a paradise where they could feel whole again.  Michael envisioned her in his mind, created her in his heart, and brought her into being through his love and laborous work.  Never, never would he give in to the whims of society's rule and abandon her without purpose. Listening to your podcast on 10/15/2011 finally has allowed me to put my beliefs to rest because I now know that I was right.  Michael left not because he wanted to but because had to, with your insistance, to save himself.  Now the picture is complete.  I always knew that Michael would never abandom something he loved so much and worked so faithfully to create simply because uncivilized, uncaring people had ravished it and forced him away from it.  He was not a quitter.  It makes so much more sense to me now why he would insist on keeping her though he could never again live peacefully within her boundaries.  God bless Michael and God bless you, Mr. Messereau.

You were a blessing sent to Michael Jackson.  You saved him from the cruelest punishment that could have been the end result of that trial in 2005.  You were the angel on his shoulder.  Not by chance I say, but by divine intervention.  When you said that Michael's acquital was  matter of life and death for him, my heart stopped.  You said what I could never quite find the right words to express.  It has been my opinion that had Michael been found gulty and sent to prison that he would have perished.  But you brought it all into a different realm of truth when you called it a death penalty case, even though death would not have been the sentence imposed.  And you are so right.  I never thought of the true magnitutude of Michael being sent to prison.  I know that he was not of the fabric to survive it, but I never thought of the vasrness, the extent of that which would have been imposed on him.  When I visualized your words, that Michael would have been kept in isolation and mistreated by the guards with no eyes to see it,  it made me cry.  I never thought of that.  But now that you have voiced it, it rings 100% truth. The prison population would not have killed Michael, the solitutude alone would not have killed him, though surely it would have broken his spiit.  The bigger threat was from the inhumane, physical and mental abuse he would have most certainly experienced had he been sent to that living hell on earth.  And the world would never have known the extent of it.  Now it is clearer why Michael cried and was so visibly shaken when the verdicts all came in as "NOT GUILTY".   The bigger picture becomes quite clear.  This was not a case of guilt or innocence.  It was a case of the life and death.  Blessed are the peacemakers for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Thank you, Mr. Messereau for continuing to trumpet the goodness of this humble man.  Thank you for being fair and decent.  Thank you for giving us a voice, a platform, and an inside view.  Thank you for knowing that though we are only to the world "fans", that our love for Michael Jackson is and was and always will be real and personal.  We so care about him and want to see things made right for his legacy even if we could not change the course of history.   Just thank you.  I feel like Michael Jackson was and is a part of me as I know all who loved him and lost him do.   We miss him and we still mourn his loss.  It's tangible and real. It's pain and love all rolled up into one and we know without question that Michael loved us more.  He was our greatest hope for the planet and he was snatched away, stolen, many years before his time.

Many people on this forum and any I frequent who are familiar with me know that I always parallel Michael's life with the life of Jesus, Christ and I feel that you are of the same fabric, even if you never vocalize it.  I believe with every inch of my being that he was the angel that God promised he would send to save the earth. There are too many similarities to be ignored. So I don't.  Coincidence, in my life, is a non-existent state of being, just a useless word in the English Language because I  believe that all things happen the way they happen for a reason.  There is ALWAYS an end to the means.  Be it good or bad, there is a lesson to be learned.  In this lesson we learn that love is greater than all the wrong that can ever be done.  The love will live on.  It never dies. LOVE LIVES FOREVER! Michael is love.  If it never dies, then for all reasons and purposes, Michael lives on in every heart that holds onto his memory and He too will never, ever die.  

The Biblical account of Jesus Christ's  life on this earth and the consequences of his death are all too familiar.  Now comes Michael Jackson's that I believe too will one day be forged onto the pages of the greatest history and religious works.  This little boy with sparkling eyes, and the voice of an angel was born into a family of meager means; he was given a loving mother, father and many siblings to share his life with; he did God's work aided by the creative genuis that he was born with;  he lived by God's word and never took credit without acknowledging from whence it came;  he gave eagerly and consistently of that which had been given him with a willing heart; he loved openly and unconditonally; he didn't begrude those who forsake him; and he became villified by those who chose not to know him.  He was rediculed and lied on, he was persecuted unfairly and unrelentlessly; he was tried by a jury of his peers and though he was acquitted of all charges ever admonished against him, he was still prosecuted in the court of public opinion.  Michael Jackson was betrayed by a kiss, or in this case, by holding a child's hand and confessing that it's the loving thing to do to share your bed.  His Judas lived alongiside him in his abode as did Jesus'.  And he betrayed him with a loving gesture, and officially collected his own 30 pieces of silver.  It's just all too emcompassing not to be in many ways the same.  A different period in history. The same story re-told.  A child will lead them... Michael Jackson though the greatest, human being alive, was also the most compassionate, loving, God fearing human being on the planet.  He pulled you into his world with the pleading eyes and heart warming smile and held you captive with a child's loving heart.  He was the angel of this generation sent to us for salvation.  And had he been given the chance I know he would have saved the world.  Nothing can stray me from those beliefs and I will die forever believing them.  

How many times can I thank you Mr. Mesereau for being a true friend, a human being who provided the greatest comfort to Michael when he was afraid and alone.  Never too much.  There's a place for you in heaven.  God bless you.

I know that Michael never fully recovered from his persecution on this planet, the worse being the 2005 trials and the loss of his precious Neverland and his fear that he would never be able to trumpet the cause that was the closet to his heart, his reason to breathe, which was giving love and a sense of hope to the earth's children.  How could he?  It was his purpose for living.  He said it himself.  Neverland and children were his first true loves. Loving and giving were his passions.  The world somehow mangaed in all its evil to strip both of them away and with it Michael's reason to do that which was his destiny.  Once the light in his eyes dimmed, they never became as bright again.

I hope someday life and Michael's Neverland will come full circle and become a place where Michael's real story can be told and re-told 24 hours a day to a people, a new generation of children, who will relish it in all its goodness and know that once upon a time, a king was born who walked amongst us on the earth... a king who was an angel and whose name was Michael Joe Jackson; born to Kathryn and Joseph Jackson on August 29, 1958 in Gary, Indiana.  And God looked down at this beautiful, wonderful, miracle he had made, raised his hands high and proclaimed, it is good...

 

Posted: 10/13/2011 - 5 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 Father forgive them

For they know not what they do…

 

The life and death of Michael Jackson paints a sad commentary on the state of humanity in this country, throughout the world.  To take a man who was by nature so gentle and kind and full of hope of saving the planet through love and nurturing our children, and turn him into something to be ridiculed, targeted and ostracized is shameful if not outright criminal.  Michael Jackson was an innovator and a dreamer.  He was a creative genius and a gifted entertainer.  He was beauty inside, outside that had nothing to do with his physical attributes.  Yet even those, no matter in what stage of metamorphosis you found him, were ever still appealing to the senses.   He loved unconditionally, giving what he rarely received with an open hand and an open heart.  He never stopped believing in the human spirit and its ability to change the world.  To his death, he never stopped hoping, loving, and believing in us.  When Michael cried the world cried with him.  His only requests of us were to love the planet and love each other.  If he were able, even now, I believe that Michael would only ask of those who persecuted him that God forgive them, with no desires for retribution. His heart was made that way not by choice but by design.  To me, he was and will always be the face I see in my mind when ever I hear the word “Angel”.

 

How does this affect me?  Words cannot begin to describe the emptiness, the aloneness, the grief, nor the pain.  I feel depleted of the air I breathe when ever I think of the magnitude, the lengths that people took to insure that this gentle man would no longer be able to spin his magical web.  I feel depressed in knowing with no doubt in my mind, that Michael Jackson was targeted one last time and this time they hit their mark and took him away from us forever.  I am forever humbled by his grace and his courage to stand for what he believed in at any cost. 

 

What ever the reason so much has been lost to us, especially the joy and wonderment of so many sick and dying children.  Who will now speak up for them?  Who will embrace them and make them feel safe and loved?  Who will go to the hospitals and homes and low lying places and hold them, bring them gifts, smile with them and cry for them?  Who?  Who will delight an audience rendering the greatest show of their lives and then take every penny of its proceeds and donate it to them for what ever they need? Who will stand up under every pressure and continue to work and drum major their cause simply because it is the right thing to do? Who will do ALL those things and do it ONLY for love?  No one!  There was ONLY one and now, because of man and his greed and his envy paired with his desire to rid the world and all its goodness, he is no more…he is gone forever.  And I miss the very essence of him.  Knowing he no longer exists in this realm of time and space immobilizes me and dulls my senses. Knowing that he would still be here were it not for the careless antics of one who is sworn to an oath of service and care.  The pain consumes me.

 

Now, they have sank to an all time low during this trial of Conrad Murray, parading initially a deathbed picture of Michael Jackson at the UCLA Medical Center; and now an autopsy picture of him.  How long and how far is humanity willing to go to continue to depredate this man?  How far?  How long? Or is there ever going to be an end?  Michael Jackson was a very proud man and he was very private.  This is the final blow for me.  There was no reason to parade his picture in front of the world like that.  What was the point, and is any really good enough?  The only sure end result of having it cast out into cyberspace is that it is destined to become one of the thousands of cruel jokes played at the expense of Michael Jackson.  Has the world no shame as people, fellow human beings?  This man has children, a mother, and siblings; people who love him globally and would give anything to see him treated with respect, treated like you and me.  He is not a curiosity for show and tell.  He is not a 3-eyed monster.  But he has been made the poster child for all that is wrong with society; the shallowness, the envy, the lack of compassion; the bully mentality.  This is what we have come to.  Michael, were he here to speak, would likely only humbly ask that we forgive them, all for love, l.o.v.e. That’s the kind of human being that he was.  The world was not ready for him and as has been proven time and time again. We never deserved him though he proved by example all the days of his life that he loved us more.

 

Sleep peacefully, sweet angel.  God ordered your steps and you walked them well in your lifetime.  Now you no longer have to walk amongst man.  You are free at last to fly.

 

In eternal awe; you rocked my world and left me speechless.

 

CassieforMaxwell

10-12-2011

 

Posted: 9/28/2011 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 I'm waking up this morning so full of pain that I dont know if I will be able to function.  Yesterday depleted all of my poise and my energy to smile.  The night was restless and the tears just would not stop falling.  Why must we persecute the ones who love us?  Why in this world of opportunity and excesses do we find it sporting to debase those miniscle few who put it all on the line, bare their souls, and bleed for us?  Why?  Seeing Michael Jackson laying lifeless on a hospital gurney and watching his last performance less than 24 hours prior, was like a slap of reality to my heart.  Hearing that haunting voice on a phone recording simply paralyzed me.  I was not ready for that.  But are we ever ready to hear that which we think unimaginable when it involves someone we love?  Never.

I don't know if I will be able to watch much more of the trial.  It's too hard.  What I heard yesterday is not what I wanted to play in my mind as I think of Michael Jackson.  He was the music of my life.  But this recording has changed the sounds I hear when ever I hear his name.  This voice that tells me, Michael is in need of care and no one us there to help him.  His life should not have had to end before his voice was heard.

Why is he gone?  Was he in any agony, any pain? 

I have a book that I keep near to me, When God Sheds Tears.  It is where I turn when I have those questions.  I know that God has shed many, many tears for what was allowed to be the existence of Michael Jackson in his lifetime.  And I know that Michael shed many tears for not having the ability to change it.  Now it's our time.  

God have mercy on Michael's children, his mother, his family, his friends and for us his fans who in our own way were all of those things to Michael Jackson.  We loved him even when we could not find the way to tell him except by example.  He knew we were there even when he could not reach out to us or even know our names.  It was the love affair of all times.  And though he is gone from us physically, we still can feel his love carressing us at the level of our hearts and I know he can feel ours being returned to him.  

I have heard it said over the last 24 hours that this is the next trial of the century.  But for me, this is the only trial of monumental proportions because it is the trial of the quiet, compassionate man who came to us, the people, gave us every part of him, taught us that love is the only thing that matters, was persecuted enmasse by many, and then crucified like a criminal.  Reminds me of someone else.  And God shed tears for him.  

This morning I'm alive.  This morning I can sit at my computer and put my thoughts down.  This morning as every morning I wake, I ask myself did it take for Michael Jackson to die to receive back the love he gave so freely and abundantly to us all?  When will we ever learn, when we ever learn?

Posted: 8/29/2011 - 0 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 Another day has gone, and I'm so all alone.

Today is Michael's birthday.  He would have been 53 years old.  So young, even still.

53 years ago today, God bundled up his most precious angel and placed him into the arms of the world to nurture and love him.  He allowed us to take care of him for 50 years.  And we still care.  His love is everlasting.  

Even though God has taken him back into the shelter of His arms, He knew we could not bear to be without him.  So He was kind to us and did the next best thing. He vowed to leave a part of Michael in each of our hearts.  I have a part, you have a part.  His heart  goes on and on.  For where we are, he will be also.  

As we pause to celebrate Michael, I am honored to have had him in physical form in my world during my lifetime.  His love is magical.  He will never grow old and he will never fade away as long as there is heaven and earth.  Love lives forever.  Michael is love.   He resides In the hearts of all who loved him  and his legacy will be carried forward for all times.  

Happy Birthday Michael Jackson 

Always an Angel to me

Posted: 8/24/2011 - 0 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

What is happening?  It seems that all of Michael's friends and associates are leaving this world.  It's as if Michael is drawing all his angels nearer to him.  Calling them one by one.  What does it mean?  What is the message, the lesson to be learned?  In time, perhaps he will show me.  As for now, I am in tears.  It feels so sad as if with every call, another star loses its light and the world around me gets a little more gloomy a little more dim.  There is always a reason.  There is always a plan.  Not ours, but His.  

Calling all Angels.  One by one by one.

Rest in Peace, dear Mr. Dileo.

Rest in peace.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted: 3/17/2011 - 5 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

 HOW DID THE SURVEILLANCE TAPES GET ERASED AT JUST THE PRECISE PORTION THAT WOULD TELL THE STORY OF THE WHOS, WHATS, WHENS, WHYS AND HOWS IN THE HOURS LEADING UP TO, DURING, AND JUST AFTER MICHAEL’S DEATH?  I JUST DON’T GET IT.  YOU KNOW ME, I ‘VE NEVER BELIEVED IN COINCIDENCES!!!  IT IS WHAT IT IS.  AND THIS IS A JOKE. NOT A FUNNY ONE BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION.  BUT  JOKE NONETHELESS.  HOWEVER, NO ONE IS LAUGHING.  alt IT BREAKS MY HEART.